Living in our lives
You process millions of bits of information. It could originate psychologically, or be perceived from your environment. There is so much happening in your life. Majority of Americans meet thousands of people in their lives, yet only a select few are deemed important. You will have over a million memories in your life, yet some are more important than others. Some things, people, and events seem to really take a hold of your life and possess it. While others, come and go, without a second thought. It would seem that some things have life, while others die. What keeps something with us?
I struggle with OCD. OCD is the most used and misunderstood mental disorder, I know of. If anybody has a family member or friend who is really anal about cleaning, they probably have described themselves as OCD. The abbreviation stands for obsessive-compulsive disorder. Obsessive is for the unwanted thoughts that you keep focusing on, and compulsive is for the behavior to try and deal with those intrusive thoughts. I'm not sure if it biologically based, but that doesn't get my attention anyway. What gets my attention is what decides to make it's way into that horrible web of repetitiveness.
I have had horrible things happen to me, and nothing. I'm not fearful of much. There are so many dangers and threats to my life, that I can think of, yet only a select few get my attention over and over again. In fact most people wouldn't even say I have OCD. There are really only three things that have haunted me in my life. The last one was only a few days. The prior two took years, and one I am actually still dealing with. The puzzling thing is why those things, people or events? Why are they given so much life? Why are they still part of my story? I have reasoned my way through them before. I have come to place of peace on these issues. A thought then comes back, and lo and behold, i'm back where I started on that condition. I've done all the analytic stuff. I know that it has it's basis in insecurity and low self-esteem. We, as a people, are getting better at explaining the "how." It's the "why" that escapes understanding.
It's not just for people suffering from OCD. There are things in everybody's life that seem to stay with them, while others they unload the moment it's over. Someone close to you dying is surely not the same as discovering on the news that someone you don't know died in a horrible freeway accident. I understand that. What I don't understand is of those close to us, sometimes it comes and we heal over time; while other times, it seem to have the same effectiveness, or can even get worse as time goes on.
It's still a big mystery to me. I will have to spend my life wondering . . .
I struggle with OCD. OCD is the most used and misunderstood mental disorder, I know of. If anybody has a family member or friend who is really anal about cleaning, they probably have described themselves as OCD. The abbreviation stands for obsessive-compulsive disorder. Obsessive is for the unwanted thoughts that you keep focusing on, and compulsive is for the behavior to try and deal with those intrusive thoughts. I'm not sure if it biologically based, but that doesn't get my attention anyway. What gets my attention is what decides to make it's way into that horrible web of repetitiveness.
I have had horrible things happen to me, and nothing. I'm not fearful of much. There are so many dangers and threats to my life, that I can think of, yet only a select few get my attention over and over again. In fact most people wouldn't even say I have OCD. There are really only three things that have haunted me in my life. The last one was only a few days. The prior two took years, and one I am actually still dealing with. The puzzling thing is why those things, people or events? Why are they given so much life? Why are they still part of my story? I have reasoned my way through them before. I have come to place of peace on these issues. A thought then comes back, and lo and behold, i'm back where I started on that condition. I've done all the analytic stuff. I know that it has it's basis in insecurity and low self-esteem. We, as a people, are getting better at explaining the "how." It's the "why" that escapes understanding.
It's not just for people suffering from OCD. There are things in everybody's life that seem to stay with them, while others they unload the moment it's over. Someone close to you dying is surely not the same as discovering on the news that someone you don't know died in a horrible freeway accident. I understand that. What I don't understand is of those close to us, sometimes it comes and we heal over time; while other times, it seem to have the same effectiveness, or can even get worse as time goes on.
It's still a big mystery to me. I will have to spend my life wondering . . .
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