For the moment . .

When I became a Christian, I remember really wanting to live back in the days of Jesus.  Then, I got into the old testament, and that was where I wanted to be.  I would read about the miracles, and think to myself that this would be an awesome thing to experience.  I think the main reason was because I would always struggle with my faith that God was on my side.  If I could have one undeniable experience, I would never doubt if God was on my side again.  It's simply not fair that Moses gets to see the Dead Sea part, and I don't.  No wonder he is a man of God, he saw bread fall from Heaven.  Then, I came across a line of reasoning that bothered me.  A couple of verses that didn't line up:

Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and all that night the LORD drove the sea back with a strong east wind and turned it into dry land. The waters were divided, and the Israelites went through the sea on dry ground, with a wall of water on their right and on their left. - Exodus 14:21-22 (NIV)

So Israel, surely you know God is with you . . . 

And he called the place Massah and Meribah because the Israelites quarreled and because they tested the LORD saying, “Is the LORD among us or not?” -Exodus 17:7 (NIV)

What? Can you imagine anyone saying, "Hey Moses, I know we saw God part the sea, and bread fall from Heaven, but . . . . .is the Lord among us?"  With these experiences how can anyone ever question or have to test God again?  It wasn't until I had my own experiences in my journey did I finally start to gain a little understanding.

There have been times in my life, where I was certain of who God is, and what role He plays in my life.  When I mean certain, I mean 100 percent.  There were times not long after that, I couldn't even mount up enough faith to pray.  What happened?  My understanding of reality didn't change.  There was no new information that changed my perspective of any of the events that gave me that faith. So, why can I not live on those moments forever?

I pondered on these thoughts for a long time.  My only line of reasoning that I could come up with for the roller coaster of faith was that God gives for the moment.  My father once told me, "there are seasons for everything".  I once had to use training wheels on my bike, but they were only until I learned to ride on my own.  Growing up, my parents fed me everyday.  It was only for the moment, and they had to keep doing it to sustain me. Eventually I moved out, and now, I feed myself (when I can afford it).

I have always wondered, were those experiences in the past, baby food?  Was it what I needed for the moment, and now God has to feed me with more . . ."grown-up food?"  HHMMMM, I wonder . . .

-Ryan